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Dictator Dislikes: Shortwave Radio

Anybody around here remember shortwave radio?  You know, the signals that can be broadcast from one continent to another, bouncing radio waves off the ionospherre and so on?

No?  Good.  Don't bother reading on.

Man, I hate the shortwave.  Thousands of frequencies, and international broadcasters who, subject to a few international conventions, can hop from one to another with the turn of a dial.  Imagine, news, commentary, and analysis being broadcast from another continent, signals leaking in across your international (sovereign!) border, and absolutely nothing you can do about it except play the whack-a-mole game of trying to jam frequencies.

 It's a huge hassle.

Fortunately, there's this new thing called the "Internet."  Everybody loves it, everybody wants it, and everybody seems to think it's the be-all and end-all of human conversation.  Hell, thanks to ipods, hardly anyone even bothers to listen to radio anymore, and the few who do must be troopers, because FM radio is a craptacular mess of shitty love songs and stupid rap.  Ask anyone under the age of about 60 about shortwave radio, and see what kind of look you get: that's right, blank stare, drool running from corner of lip.

That's a good thing for Dicks like me, because the Internet is a piece of cake and I can control it in ways old radio-heads would find mind-bending.  I can block certain websites, I can filter for keywords, I can hack sites and track who in my country is visiting them.  I can create fake Twitter accounts and spam to my heart's content, and I can break into the email of my enemies and write fake messages in their name - only to "discover" the messages and have them jailed.

Can't do any of those things with shortwave.  There, your foreign enemies just bombard your airways with their message and you are mostly helpless.  And since their transmitters are located over the border, you can't just wipe them out!  It sucks - believe me, it does.

Fortunately, it seems to be a problem that is going away simply because modern governments can no longer afford to fund radio transmissions.  Yes, you can get a radio like the below for a couple of bucks, but these days, who does?  Everyone wants a smartphone and a Twitter account.  And that's what I want them to have too, because I can manipulate those two to my heart's content.

Who says there is no progress in the world?  I'd say technology has empowered me, the dictator.  And today, I'm feeling particularly Dickish.  Time to go shut down my political opposition's blog, and plant some porn in their Dropbox!  Hee hee hee, it's going to be a good day.

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