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WWDD: Family Problems

Dear Dick:


I have very bad problem. Very bad. My brother and sister leak 'fake news' to media. Say I have many mistress, all on government salary. Stories upset my wife (another problem). Now they say I raid national treasury; I deny and say I am offended but no one listen. I can take no more, so I order 'accident' on bridge at night for them. But, now I think: do I go too far? Not sure. Please send advice.


#1 Fan.  

Dear #1 Fan:


I gather English isn't your first language. No matter: you've learned a very important lesson in the dictatorship business. Namely, family is family, but power is thicker than blood. Those closest to you can also be the most dangerous, and you should never hesitate to remove any danger, no matter how intimate. So don't let those second-thoughts trouble you. Arranged 'accidents' are unfortunate (but effective) and pretty soon, I wager, those 'stories' will simply go away--but you're on your own with your wife! Good luck!


You're not the only one to learn this lesson, by the way; looks like someone else has read my book and discovered how to deal with 'family 'problems.'


Now an only child


Photo from: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File%3AKim_Jong-Un_Photorealistic-Sketch.jpg 


Yours,


Rich Tater

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